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The Top 5 Things I Would Do if I Were Being Stalked

personal safety private investigator stalking Jan 17, 2022

What could be more frightening than knowing that someone is following you, sending you harassing or threatening communications, or showing up when you least expect them? That’s a reality for millions of people. Everyone’s situation is different, but as a private investigator I want to share the top 5 things I would do if I were being stalked. 

1. Make Personal Safety My Top Priority

This is essential. Many of us are used to putting everyone else’s needs first - so we have to make an intentional effort to prioritize ourselves. If you need to inconvenience someone to make yourself safer, do it. If you have to say no to someone to make yourself safer, do it. If you need to ask for help to make yourself safer, do it.


2.  Start a Personal Safety Log

This is important for many reasons. Trauma affects our ability to remember details clearly, so keeping a detailed record of events is essential. Don’t forget to include even “small” things like a text or having a third party try to contact you on the stalker’s behalf. Include how the incident made you feel (ie. afraid, harrassed, threatened, etc.). It’s also necessary to document how this unwanted contact impacted your daily life. Did you lose sleep? Were you having nightmares? Did you need to change your routine to try to avoid this unwanted contact? This documentation will be critical in criminal court or if you pursue a civil action. 


3. Report Your Stalker to the Police

I know that the reality is that most police departments are going to be more focused on more physically violent crimes, but when you make a report you start an official paperwork trail (and be sure that you tell them that you want an official complaint registered). This will be important to have when you go to court. 


4. Confide in a Trusted Friend

Please know that what is happening is NOT your fault. You don’t have to be ashamed or worried that you somehow caused this to happen. Having someone to share your story and your feelings with will help you care for you. Choose someone who believes in you and gives you positive, nurturing feedback. Knowing that someone is in your corner no matter what makes all the difference!


5. Choose a Safe Place

We all love that comfortable feeling we have in familiar places and having the things we cherish around us. But if your stalker is very familiar with you then home may not always be the safest place for you to be. Familiarize yourself with what options you have. Is there a women’s shelter nearby? Do you have a friend who your stalker doesn’t know where you can stay if you are feeling threatened? If you think you are being followed, don’t go home. Go to the nearest public place like a police or fire station, a hospital, or any open business. Call the police and stay there until they respond.

There are a lot of great tips available at these websites to help you as well:


 Information from


U.S. Department of Justice information on stalking


Stalking awareness fact sheet


If you or someone you know is a victim of stalking, remember that you are not alone and that there is hope. 


Psalm 9:9

“The Lord is a refuge for the oppressed, a stronghold in times of trouble.”

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